


It's the little things

by dr_jillianholtzmann



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: As well, Cuddling, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Femslash, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Holtzbert - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Lots of kissing, Romance, Slow Burn, just a bit of Angst, maybe smut later, really just a little bit, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-08-31 15:10:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8583139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_jillianholtzmann/pseuds/dr_jillianholtzmann
Summary: It's been exactly two weeks since Erin has asked Holtzmann to stop the ridiculous flirting. However, when Holtzmann brings another girl over to their office, she quickly realizes she's made a terrible mistake. How can she get her friend back? How can she show Holtzmann how wrong she's been before?





	1. Confused

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> This is not my first Holtzbert fic (but it is my second though) but it's going to be my first multi chapter Holtzbert fic. So bear with my guys! This is going to be fun (I hope). Anyways, updates should be fast because I've already written chapter 2 and most of chapter 3. 
> 
> Also, English is not my first language and I'm mostly tipsy while writing this so don't judge me please. 
> 
> If you have any suggestions for further chapters, please do let me know. 
> 
> xx E

It had all started simple. Like it always does. They had just successfully captured a ghost downtown, and of course Erin had been the only one to get slimed. Again. Usually the girls would mess with her, laughing before finally helping the redhead get some of the stuff out of her eyes and mouth. Today however, it was different. Erin had been on edge all morning, and they all knew it was best to leave her alone when she was like this. So when they got the call, they all hoped that it would go smoothly. That, for once, Erin wouldn't get slimed. But she did.

The redhead tries to duck away, but she already realizes she's too late. The slime hits her two seconds later. She'll never get used to the ice cold feeling. Sure, it's gross and sticky and goes everywhere, but none of that is as bad as the cold. Especially at this time of the year in New York city. She groans and falls down on the floor because of the blast, not even caring anymore. She swears loudly. Her friends capture the ghost, and she waits for the laughing that usually happens. It stays quiet.

There's a hand on her shoulder not too long later, and she's pretty sure it's Abby. Her friend uses a napkin to clear her face. "Are you okay?" She hears a soft voice say, surprised to realize it's Holtzmann that is helping her. She's too annoyed though. Frustrated. Angry. She pushes the blonde away and yanks the napkin out of her hands.

"I'll do the rest myself." She just says. For a second Holtzmann lingers, but then she stands up and leaves. They don't talk on the way home, even Patty stays quiet. She's angry with herself as well, for causing all of this tension, but she can't seem to force herself to snap out of it.

Now they're back at the firehouse, and Erin goes straight upstairs towards her room to grab clean clothes. "Shit." She says when she realizes it's Friday, meaning she has no clean clothes here. She usually brings clean clothes with her every Monday, knowing she'll spend most of her nights at the Firehouse anyways. When she goes home Friday afternoon she goes home to shower and wash her clothes. Luckily she does find some clean pants and underwear, but all her shirts and sweaters are completely covered in slime. She finally finds her old MIT sweater, which has some dried up slime, but it's the best she has. She could of course ask her friends if they have something clean, but she doesn't feel like talking to them. She'll just go home when she's done, they probably won't mind anyways.

She moves towards the large bathroom and finally steps into the shower, letting the warm water wash away some of the tension in her body. Her mind immediately goes to Holtzmann, like it usually does. Lately, the engineer seems to be the only thing on her mind. After they had moved into the firehouse and gotten used to the actual job, it had gotten a lot harder to be around her. Erin would have figured she would drop the flirting, after seeing that she wasn't interested, but Holtz continued to flirt with her. Finally, Erin had snapped. She had told her to cut it off, saying it made her uncomfortable and that it was totally ridiculous and inappropriate. Holtzmann hadn't flirted with her since, in fact she had barely talked to her since. That was two weeks ago.

Yesterday, everything changed. Holtz had brought a girl to their Firehouse after they'd captured a ghost at a coffee place where the girl worked. She showed her around, trying to impress her with her science. The girl didn't seem to understand it at all, and Holtz didn't seem to care. Abby and Patty just laughed, finding it funny to see how hard Holtz was trying.

"You okay?" Abby had asked her.

"Yes, why?" The redhead had answered, not daring to take her eyes of Holtz and the random girl.

"Because I'm pretty sure you're trying to kill that girl by just staring at her." Her friend had said, nudging her shoulder.

Finally, Erin had looked at her. Abby smiled at her, silently telling her it was okay. Whatever was happening, it was okay. The redhead had panicked and stormed off towards her office, which happened to be Holtz's lab as well.

"Excuse me," She said, catching the attention of the two women, "I'd like to go back to work now." She crossed her arms. Holtzmann squinted her eyes.

"Yes, yes of course." She finally said, leading the girl out of their office. Erin had expected her to take her somewhere else, or at least continue their conversation somewhere else. The engineer surprised her by returning to their office minutes later and quietly going back to work. They didn't talk the rest of the day.

Honestly, she realizes she had no reason to be angry with Holtzmann. She did nothing wrong, technically. So why is she feeling this way? Why is she so bothered by the blonde flirting with some other girl? Maybe she does have feelings for the engineer… but she's never had these feelings for another girl before. There's nothing she can do anyways, she clearly told Holtzmann she wasn't interested in her, and now she's already moving on. Deciding not to think about it anymore, she turns off the shower which has gotten cold anyways.

She steps out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her and looking for her clothes. Her eyebrows raise when she notices it. She picks up the sweater on top, which is definitely not her own. She brings it to her nose and smells. Holtzmann. The blonde must have realized she's out of clean clothes. For a second she thinks about just putting on her MIT sweater, but her eyes notice the gross green spots and she decides to just put on the other sweater. She puts on her underwear and pants, then finally pulling the sweater over her head. It fits her perfectly, meaning it's probably meant as more of baggy sweater for Holtz herself. It is so comfortable. She finishes in the bathroom and quickly gathers all her stuff. Even though she feels a little bit better, she still wants to go home. Whatever is happening, she needs time alone to figure it out. She walks downstairs to find the girls hanging out on the couch together.

"I'm going home." She states, catching their attention. Holtzmann immediately notices the sweater and smiles at her, which makes Erin's stomach drop. Great, just what she needed, more confusion. She tears her eyes away from the engineer's.

"Okay sure." Abby says. "See you on Monday."

She waves a polite goodbye before exiting the building. Some time alone would probably help.

It didn't. It really didn't. She just spends her weekend alone drinking wine and walking around in circles in her apartment, wearing Holtz's sweater the whole time. Finally, on Sunday night, she calls Abby and asks her to come over.

"You alright?" Her friend asks her, noticing Erin's messy hair and the open wine bottle in her hands.

"I don't know." Erin answers in all honesty, holding the door open to let Abby in. She immediately walks towards the couch, grabbing a glass for her friend on the way there. She opts for just drinking straight from the bottle herself.

Abby has never seen Erin this way. Never. In all those years she's known her, Erin has never gotten this drunk. She was always the one who stayed sober, and had often helped Abby out when she herself had let herself go a little bit too much. So, logically, she doesn't really know what to do. She decides that taking the wine from her is probably a good start. Slowly and carefully, she takes the bottle from Erin's hands, who doesn't even notice, and puts it down on the glass coffee table.

"I think I like Holtzmann." Erin suddenly says, slurring a little.

"What?! I didn't- Oh my-" She starts, but she's interrupted by Erin, who raises an eyebrow.

"You're a terrible liar Abby, you've always been."

The brunette sighs. "Fine. Okay. I knew."

Erin frowns. "How?"

Abby leans back into the couch, thinking about how she should talk to Erin about this. She wants her friend to figure this out herself, but she also can't stand seeing her friend in so much pain.

"Because I know you you." She simply says, not really knowing what else to say to her friend, knowing that she could ruin everything by saying the wrong thing. She could tell Erin about how she and Patty often notice her just staring at Holtzmann, her mouth slightly open as she studies the engineer. Or when the brunette always moves a little closer towards Holtzmann when they sit next to each other in their booth at the bar, always finding an excuse to get closer. Or when Erin smiles that crooked smile, a smile Abby knows is reserved only for certain people. But Abby can't tell her about any of those things, because she knows her friend will get self-conscious and stop all of it. Which isn't what she wants.

Erin still hasn't said anything, and she's leaning forwards now, resting her chin on her hand. "That doesn't really help me." She says softly.

"I know." The brunette admits. "Look, if you really think you like her, you need to show her. You can't walk around being angry at her all of the time." Erin rolls her eyes at that.

"I've not been-" she stops, because yes, she has been a bitch to Holtz these past two weeks. "What exactly do I do?" She says instead.

Abby sighs deeply. "I would start by just being her friend again."

Erin nods and smiles softly. She could do that. Suddenly she remembers the incident and turns her head towards her friend. "What if she brings some random girl over again? Or she flirts with someone at a bar?"

Abby grins. "Something tells me Holtzmann may have done that on purpose."

Erin's eyes widen, not fully understanding what her friend means. Quickly, Abby speaks again. "Never mind. I can't promise you that's not going to happen, but we'll deal with that too."


	2. It's a start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there lovely people! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left kudos or comments! It means so much to me! I'm still new to writing Holtzbert, but I'm learning (and having so much fun in the meantime).  
> Here's the second chapter for you all! Do let me know what you think!

The next day, Erin is a little hungover, but ready to get her friend back. She walks into the office, carrying a paper bag which contains some of Holtzmann’s favorite snacks. She’s nervous suddenly, her heart pounding in her chest. She sends a quick hello to Abby and Patty, who she finds chatting in the kitchen. They wish her a good morning before returning to their discussion. She notices her hands are sweaty when she walks up the stairs. Goddammit Erin, get it together. 

She holds up her hand to knock on the door and stops mid air, suddenly remembering Holtz’s lab also functions as her office. She adjusts her hair and pulls on her blouse, making sure there’s no wrinkles. Not that it matters, but it helps her calm down at least a little. Finally, she enters the room. 

“Good morning.” Holtzmann says flatly, without looking up from her work. Recently, this seems to be how they behave around each other. Holtzmann greets her in the morning, but doesn’t really say much else to her during the day. She keeps it strictly professional; Erin’s not if it’s because she is hurt, angry, or simply doesn’t know what’s okay and what’s not. Holtzmann is so hard to read, and she never talks about her feelings with anyone. Not even with Abby.  
She wishes she could just take all of it back, and then everything would be normal again. Holtzmann would probably be flirting with her now, and she would probably be blushing. A part of Erin wants to just run over towards the engineer and hug her, but she’s not sure how Holtzmann will respond. No, she can’t do that; she has to show Holtzmann exactly how she feels, slowly.

“Good morning.” She returns finally, more cheerful than normal. This catches the blonde’s attention; she’s now looking up and raising an eyebrow. “You’re cheerful.” 

Erin nods, setting the paper bag down on Holtz’s desk. When the engineer doesn’t grab it, or even look at it, she pushes it a little closer. “I uhm.. I got you something.” 

They stare at each other now, and Erin can see the battle in Holtzmann’s eyes. “It’s just food Holtz,” she says as she turns around and moves towards her own desk. 

Two hours later Holtzmann finally opens the bag, stares for a few seconds, and then takes out a donut. Erin doesn’t look up, pretending not to notice. 

“Thanks.” The blonde says quietly, and Erin almost doesn’t hear it. She looks up and smiles softly. “You’re welcome.” She winks then, something she’s never done before. Holtzmann almost chokes on her food. 

The next of the day goes by quietly; Holtzmann only sets three things on fire. They make small talk about work, but it just feels awkward and forced. She’s glad when it’s finally six, immediately packing her things. As usual Holtz doesn’t look like she’s leaving any time soon. Does she sleep here? Erin wonders.

“I’m going to go.” She says, standing awkwardly by the door. 

The blonde looks up from her work, and smiles at her; it doesn’t reach her eyes like it normally does, but it’s something. “Good night then.”   
Erin turns around on her heels and leaves. She’s already out of the door when she hears Holtz speak up again. “And thank you again for the food. It was nice.” The redhead doesn’t respond; she just turns around one more time and smiles softly at Holtzmann. 

Erin decides to wear Holtzmann’s sweater the next day. Her initial plan was to just wash it and put it on the blonde’s desk whenever she wasn’t around. However, this morning she decided to just wear it instead. She had slipped the sweater over her head, which still smelled like the engineer, even though she had washed it. 

She runs into Abby outside of the firehouse, both of them arriving at the same time. “Hey!” She says, greeting her friend with a sincere smile. 

“Hey yourself.” Abby says, staring at her. “What exactly are you wearing?” 

Erin looks down. “This?” She pulls slightly on the fabric, “It’s Holtzmann’s.” 

Abby nods. “Yeah, I know that. I also know that’s her favorite sweater and she doesn’t like other people wearing it. She’s had it for ages.” 

The redhead frowns. “She lend it to me herself.” 

“When?!” 

“The other day, when I got slimed.” Suddenly Erin feels insecure about her decision to wear it, but there’s no going back now. Her other clothes are in their office, so there’s really no way to avoid Holtzmann seeing her with her sweater. She might as well go for it now. 

“Okay well, I’m warning you now, so don’t blame me when she gets upset with you.” 

Erin just shrugs, and they go inside. 

“Good morning bosses!” Kevin says, his grin wide as ever. They both wish him a good morning as well, surprised he had managed to show up on time. Patty notices her friends come in, and looks up from her computer. Ever since they had gotten more popular, the woman had made several social media accounts for them, which she updated every second of every day.

“Yo guys, I just uploaded a picture again, it’s like a behind the scenes shot. Come see.” 

Erin and Abby glance at each other for a second. “Patty, we told you to show us the pictures before actually uploading them. We don’t want a repeat of last time.” Abby says, staring at her colleague. Last time, Patty had uploaded a picture of Kevin with his shirt of. It certainly had earned them a lot more followers, but it wasn’t really what they were going for. Erin often reminded them that the social media was only there to make communication between them and the people easier. 

“I swear to god guys, it’s not like that. You’ll like this one.” 

Both women stare at the computer screen. It’s a selfie that Patty had taken of her and Abby in the office. Abby smiles, remembering the nice moment. Erin wants to protest, but suddenly she notices the background. She sees herself, working on some kind of equation, way too focused to know what was going on around her. Then, a little bit further is Holtzmann, staring straight at her with a look she had never seen before, all smiles and everything. Her heart immediately skips a beat. 

“When was this?” She asks. 

“Uh.. about a week ago. Why?” Patty responds, glad that Erin doesn’t lecture her again about being professional online and all that. 

Erin walks away now, not even bothering to answer the question. A week ago, that means the photo was taken after she had told Holtzmann to stop, but before the incident with the other girl. And yet, the blonde was still looking at her like she meant the world to her. It gives Erin newfound confidence, and she practically runs up the stairs. Yes, she had hurt Holtz, and the woman was probably really angry with her, but this picture showed her there was still hope. Maybe things were not as ruined as she thought they were.   
“Good mor-”She starts, stopping when she realizes Holtzmann is on the floor, face down. “Oh my god Holtz!” She rushes over to her side, her hands reaching out to touch her friend. 

“Don’t!” the engineer practically screams at her. 

Erin feels her heart clench, all her confidence from earlier disappearing. Slowly, and with a lot of groaning, Holtzmann turns around on the floor, now finally facing Erin. The redhead notices an ugly cut on her cheek. Tentatively the blonde reaches out to touch a piece of scrap metal. She lets out a shaky breath when her hands close around the pipe. Erin frowns, not having a clue what’s going on. 

“Sorry.” Holtz says. “Got a little shock just now, didn’t wanna risk you getting hurt as well.” 

Suddenly Erin understands and she smiles, her hand finding it’s way to Holtz’s cheek. She softly strokes the skin around the cut, relieved when Holtzmann doesn’t pull back from her touch. “Stay here.” She speaks softly, afraid of ruining the moment they seem to be having. She practically runs downstairs, ignoring her friends as she grabs an ice pack from the freezer. Seconds later she is back in their lab, glad to find Holtzmann still on the floor, in an upright position now. Slowly she lowers herself onto the floor, her eyes finding the blonde’s. Gently she places the ice pack on her cheek, and Holtzmann’s eyes close. She inspects the wound, relieved to see that it’s not as bad as she initially thought. After about a minute, Erin finally speaks up. “Are you alright? You really have to be more careful.” 

Holtz opens her eyes and grins wickedly; for a second Erin thinks she’s going to make some stupid remark, like she usually does. The scientist would never admit this, but right now she wants nothing more than a stupid joke from Holtzmann. However, the blonde drops her smile and pushes herself away from Erin. They both stand up, the moment definitely over now. Finally, Holtzmann notices the sweater, and her eyes linger on it for a few seconds. 

“I can take it off if you want.” Erin says, breaking the silence. 

“It’s fine.” Holtz says, and it sounds sincere. If it wasn’t for her earlier conversation with Abby, Erin may never have realized how big this was coming from the engineer. 

The rest of the day goes by more slowly than other days. Erin can’t seem to focus on her work, constantly distracted by the blonde. Partly because she loves watching her work, and partly because the engineer seems to be getting texts every few minutes which is really annoying since she has her volume turned on. She doesn’t mention it, even though she suspects Holtzmann of turning the volume on even higher when she accidently rolls her eyes. But then her phone starts ringing as well, and the ringtone is that really annoying song she dances to, and Erin finally speaks up. 

“Shouldn’t you get that?” 

Holtzmann stares at her phone for a few seconds, before ending the call. “No, it’s fine.” 

They decide to go out that night. Normally they only go on Friday’s, but everyone is really bored and they need some fun. They all change, Erin deciding to go with a plaid shirt she didn’t even realize she still had, and head to their usual bar (which is just around the corner). Holtzmann ignores her the whole way there, talking and laughing with Patty about something only they seem to understand. Abby nudges her with her arm, smiling at her. Her friend doesn’t say anything, but it still comforts her. 

Erin arrives first, but Holtzmann and Patty aren’t far behind. Abby had heads straight to the bar to get their first round. She slides into her usual seat, but doesn’t slide all the way down, knowing Holtzmann is going to sit with Patty anyways so she might as well wait for Abby to return. She lazily grabs a menu and stares at it, trying to decide what will get her drunk the fastest. Suddenly, there’s a hand softly poking at her sides and she jumps. 

“Move over.” The blonde says, pushing a little harder now. Erin turns her head around to look at her colleague. When she doesn’t move fast enough, Holtz rolls her eyes and moves to sit down. Quickly, Erin slides over, but only a little bit. Their legs are touching completely now, and there’s probably enough room for a third person next to Erin, but the blonde doesn’t say anything about it. 

Patty and Holtz continue their earlier conversation, and Erin just listens. Even if she were to say something right now, she’s sure it would come out really shaky. Sitting this close to Holtz is affecting her brain. She could definitely use some tequila right now.   
Abby seems to have read her mind, because seconds later she arrives at the booth, holding a small serving tray with four shots of tequila. Without thinking, Erin grabs one and downs it. She notices the others staring at her, and just shrugs. They laugh and quickly down their shots as well. 

They’re a few shots in when Erin notices Holtzmann staring at her phone nervously. What was with that stupid thing today? Softly, she nudges Holtz with her elbow. 

“You okay?” She asks. 

This seems to make Holtzmann even more nervous. She’s now shifting uncomfortably. 

“Yeah yeah, fine.” She says, avoiding eye contact with the woman next to her. The blonde then seems to come to her senses as she turns her phone off and puts it in her pocket. She visibly relaxes now, and joins the conversation Abby and Patty had been having. Just as Erin wants to ask if they should get another round, Holtzmann stands up, announcing she’ll go get them some beers. 

Erin forces herself to focus on her two other friends as she waits for her drink. Not too long later, Holtzmann is back, holding another serving tray. She notices the blonde bought three beers and one glass of wine. She smiles, knowing the wine is meant for her. Only then does she actually look at the woman standing next to her. Immediately her smile fades. She looks extremely stressed. “Uh.. Abby. Think you can come with me for a second?” she says awkwardly. 

Abby frowns, but gets up anyways. This time, Erin does watch them as they walk towards the bar. They seem to be talking to a third person, but someone is standing in her line of sight. Suddenly, the third person takes a step closer to Holtzmann, where Erin can see her, and her heart drops to her stomach. She recognizes her immediately. Standing there, at the bar, is the woman from the coffee shop that Holtzmann had flirted with and brought to the office a few days ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so don't hate me, it's all going to be fine! I promise!   
> Also, next chapter we will finally learn more about how Holtzmann is feeling about all of this, and she'll open up a bit more!


	3. The bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm back with an update. 
> 
> First of all, thank you so much to everyone who commented or left kudos! It means so much to me :) 
> 
> Honestly I'm not quite sure how I feel about this chapter.. I've been so busy lately but I really just wanted to give you guys an update. it's really late here currently so excuse me for any mistakes I made. Also, it's a bit shorter than I had hoped, but I still hope you will all like it! Luckily I'm free tomorrow and the day after that, so you can expect an update soon!
> 
> Please let me know what you all think! :)

Holtzmann is waiting for their drinks when she notices her coming in. “Oh fuck” she mutters under her breath, trying to duck away. It’s too late though, and the girl is rushing over already. 

“Jillian!” She calls out. 

There’s really no escaping now, so Holtzmann casually leans against the bar and waits for the girl to approach her. 

“Emily.” She says, her voice flat. “What are you doing-“

The girl interrupts her, placing her hands on her hips. “Are you serious right now? You’ve been ignoring my calls and texts all day.” 

Holtzmann looks at the floor, shifting her weight nervously from one foot to the other. She’s not good at this. Usually people kind of just get the hint when she starts ignoring them. She always tries to avoid having this conversation, and now she’s having it, in front of her goddamn friends.  
Holtzmann is good at flirting, and making stupid jokes. She loves the challenge of trying to charm a girl; except with Emily it had been different. She had been hurt and mad at the time because of Erin, and she had really wanted to piss the other woman of. So she had flirted with Emily, and brought her back to the lab. Honestly, she just wanted to see the look on Erin’s face. Apparently Emily had taken the whole thing a lot more serious than she had, even kissing her briefly when she left that day. Holtzmann, at that moment still too busy analyzing Erin’s reaction to Emily, winked at the girl and told her she would call her later. She had soon realized how stupid it had been to bring the girl back to the lab, and had tried to forget it ever happened at all. So when Emily had started to text and call her she decided that ignoring her was probably the best way to handle the problem. Clearly, she had been wrong. Very wrong. 

“Jillian?!” Emily says, now raising her voice. 

Holtzmann just stares at her. “Be right back.” She ignores the woman, who’s clearly very offended now, grabbing the tray with their drinks instead and bringing it over to her friends. “Uh.. Abby. Think you can come with me for a second?” she says awkwardly. Her friend stares at her for a brief second before realizing something is really wrong. Immediately Abby stands up and follows her towards the bar. 

“Help me.” Holtzmann whispers to her friend as they approach Emily. Abby quickly realizes what’s going on, she’s helped her friend before in the past when she had to get rid of a girl who wouldn’t leave her place in the morning. That time, Abby had come over to her apartment, telling them there was some kind of emergency and the only person who could help them was Holtzmann. Surprisingly, the girl believed them. 

“Hi. I’m Abby.” She says, holding out her hand. Emily just stares at it. 

“Yeah I know, we met the other day.” 

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Erin realizes she’s staring, but she can’t help herself. Everything around her seems to have stopped, and every second seems to last a minute. Her heart is pounding in her chest as she watches the three girls at the bar. She can’t hear them from over here, but there’s no way to get closer without drawing attention to herself. She doesn’t understand what’s going on, and she can’t read much from Holtzmann’s posture. 

“Yo.” Patty says, snapping her from her thoughts. 

She looks at her friend and fakes a smile. “What’s up?” 

Patty looks serious then, reaching out to touch her hand briefly. “You okay?” 

She opens her mouth, ready to ask the other woman why she wouldn’t be okay, but her mouth is faster than her brain. “I don’t know.” 

Patty raises her eyebrows. She too, had expected Erin to brush her off. Suddenly, a quieter song starts and both their heads immediately turn towards the bar. Erin feels her heart start beating even faster when she realizes she can now overhear everything the girls are saying.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Okay then.” Abby says. Before she can say anything else though, Emily speaks up again.

“Let me guess, you’re going to tell me about some stupid work related shit that came up, which is why you guys were out of town.” Emily says, looking at Abby first and then at Holtzmann. She raises her eyebrow, daring them to say anything. 

“Well.. we are the Ghostbusters.” Holtzmann says, smirking.

“Cut the crap.” The woman says, rolling her eyes and taking a step closer to Holtzmann.

The engineer groans now. “Okay then. So you see.. the uh.. the thing is.. “ She starts, unable to find the right words. God, she wishes she had taken a sip of that beer before putting it down. Then, all of the sudden, she notices Abby leaving from the corner of her eye. For a second she panics, but then there’s an arm around her shoulders. She doesn’t even have to look to know that it’s Erin this time. 

“We’re dating.” The redhead says then. For a second she just stands there, trying to process everything that’s happening. Then, she slips her arm around Erin’s waist, and she swears she hears the older woman release a shaky breath. 

“Is this true?” Emily says, turning her head towards her now. 

“Yes.” Holtzmann just says. She really shouldn’t be doing this, knowing how fucked up she and Erin currently are. Yes, having her hands around Erin’s waist makes her feel good, so good, but it also hurts. It hurts because she knows she could never actually have this, have her. In a few minutes this will all be over, and they’ll go back to whatever they are.  
Erin’s voice snaps her from her thoughts. “I’ve liked her since the moment I saw here.” The redhead turns to smile at her, and it actually hurts. It’s all too real right now. “Yesterday we finally talked. Turns out she felt she same about me the entire time. Isn’t that right, my love?” Erin uses her hand on Holtzmann’s shoulder to pull her even closer. 

Holtzmann clears her throat. “Uh yeah.. yeah. Pretty much.” Erin is beaming at her now. 

“Well.. okay. I wish you would have just told me…” Emily says, feeling a bit awkward all of the sudden. 

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Holtzmann says, her grip loosening on Erin’s waist. 

They talk a little bit more before Emily finally decides to leave them alone. Holtzmann immediately steps away from Erin. “That was great huh?” Erin says, smiling at the engineer.

“I gotta.. I gotta go.” Holtzmann responds, avoiding eye contact as she turns around and leaves her three friends behind, confused about what had just happened. 

It’s about 3AM when she finally picks up the phone and enters the number she knows by heart. The phone only rings two times. “I’ll be right over.” 

At 3:15AM, Abby knocks on Holtzmann’s door. The blonde opens, still dressed in the clothes she wore to the bar. There’s a bottle of scotch in her hands that’s almost empty. Great, looks likes she’s going to have another conversation with a drunk friend. If these two would just talk to each other I would get so much more sleep, she thinks to herself. 

“I don’t understand.” Holtzmann says at 3:30AM, after they have sat in silence for some time. Abby knows the woman has a hard time talking about her feelings, so she’s willing to wait as long as her friend needs. 

“What don’t you understand?” She asks. 

The engineer sighs, and takes another sip of the scotch. “Erin. I don’t understand Erin.” She slurs a little when she says it. 

“What do you mean?” Abby asks. She knows exactly what Holtzmann means, but she wants her to actually say it. The younger woman just stares at her. 

“You know what I mean Abby. She’s just..” She takes a break then, trying to find the right words to say. “She says one thing, but then does the complete opposite.” 

Abby smiles softly. “Like when she told you she wanted you to stop flirting with you, but now she’s doing all these things like getting you food and wearing your sweater?” She doesn’t really want to help, but her friend will need a push in the right direction. 

“Yes!” Holtzmann says, clearly surprised. “Exactly.” Normally, she probably would have asked Abby exactly how she knew all of this, but the scotch seemed to have taken control over Holtzmann’s mind. 

“How do you feel?” Abby asks, now taking the bottle from the blonde’s hands. They don’t talk for a while again, and Abby can almost hear her friend thinking. 

“I feel hurt.” She says, after what seems like an hour. 

Abby frowns now, not having expected this to be the answer. “Why do you feel hurt?” 

“Because I know she’s just doing it to mess with me.” Holtzmann slurs, as she leans back into the couch. She closes her eyes for a second, trying to stop the room from spinning. Abby reaches out towards her friend, tentatively taking her hand. She’s never seen Holtz this vulnerable before. The blonde opens her eyes again and looks at her friend. “The thing is though, I can’t tell her to stop. I want to, oh god Abby, I really want to. But she looks so cute in that sweater, and all I can think is ‘I don’t care if you’re doing this to hurt me, or get back at me, I just want you to wear that forever’. Honestly, I don’t know what to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Or what do you want to see next?


	4. The next day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back with another update! Yay! I promised you all it would be soon so here you go!  
> Again, thank you so so so much to everyone who commented or left kudos! It means so much :) 
> 
> This chapter is somewhat longer than the last ones :)  
> I hope you will all like it! Please do let me know what you think of it!

Erin arrives at the office at 9am the next morning, later than usual for her. However, she had spent most of the night laying awake in her room. Her body was exhausted, but her mind kept replaying the evening. She realized she had gone too far, stepping in like she had done. It was none of her business, and she shouldn’t have gotten involved like that. However, seeing the blonde nervously shifting on her feet had been too much. Suddenly she had felt herself moving towards the three of them, and then her arm had slipped around Holtzmann’s shoulder. She just couldn’t stop herself. At first she had thought she had just startled the blonde, and she honestly enjoyed seeing her so flustered for once. But then Emily was gone, and the engineer let go of her instantly and excused herself, leaving Erin and her other friends behind. 

“What was that about?” Erin says, turning towards Abby who had moved closer towards their booth again, but was still standing. 

“Something is definitely up with her.” Patty says, who had been quiet until now. 

“You better talk to her.” She’s now looking directly at Abby. 

Erin is quick to speak up again. “No, no, wait.. I have to go after her right?” She’s walking around in small circles, not sure what to do but knowing she can’t just do nothing. 

“Yo, calm down.” Patty says, gesturing for Erin to take a seat. “Drink this.” She pushes the abandoned glass of wine towards her friend, who eagerly takes a few sips. 

“I don’t think that’s best.” Abby says, making the other two women look at her, clearly confused. “Going after her, I mean.” She continues. 

“But I messed up,” Erin says, her voice softer now. “I need to go apologize to her.” 

Abby shakes her head. “That will only make everything worse. Trust me, I’ve known her for some time now. She’ll call me when she needs to talk.” 

The physicist wants to argue with her friend, but she knows Abby is right. She does now Holtzmann better than she does. “Okay then.” She finally says, giving in. They finish their drinks and head home not that much later, all of them pretty tired by now. 

And even though Erin had been tired, she didn’t fall asleep until about four in the morning. Her dreams had been filled with images of Holtzmann, like they had so many times lately. However, now they seemed more like nightmares, as her mind kept replaying the look on the engineer’s face as she walked away from her. She woke up at 7, drenched in sweat. Quickly she took a shower and got ready for work, remembering to stop by the coffee shop around the corner of her apartment to pick up some food for Holtzmann again. She grabbed a pen from her purse and wrote ‘I’m sorry’ on the paper bag. Even if Holtzmann didn’t want to talk to her, she at least still would get the chance to apologize to the blonde.

“Good morning.” Abby greets her, smiling warmly at her. 

“Morning!” Patty yells from across the room, looking at her watch. “You’re late.” 

She rolls her eyes at her friend, but smiles at her anyways. “Where’s Kevin?” She says then, noticing the empty desk. 

Patty laughs loudly, and Abby just crosses her arms. “He send me a text. Apparently he thought it was the weekend already.” 

“What!?” Erin responds. “How? It’s Wednesday!” 

Patty bursts out in laughter again. “God that dude is dumb.” 

Abby smiles. “Yeah.” 

The taller woman grins wickedly at her two friends. “I can see why you hired him though, that man is a god.” She whistles approvingly. Both Erin and Abby can’t help but laugh at their crazy friend, not even noticing Holtzmann entering the office. 

“What’s so funny?” She says, raising an eyebrow and staring at her friends. 

“Oh nothing.” Patty responds, before the others get a chance to say anything, “just talking about our lady boners for Kevin.” 

Erin’s eyes go wide immediately, blushing as she makes eye contact with Holtzmann. Shit, she thinks to herself, she definitely does not have a lady boner for Kevin, but she also realizes she has shown interest in Kevin before. Sure, it didn’t mean anything; she had just enjoyed the harmless flirting they had going on, knowing it never would have gone further than that anyways. But Holtzmann didn’t know that, or at least Erin didn’t think so. She waits for the engineer’s reaction, which seems to take forever. “Yes well… you three ladies enjoy your lady boners, or whatever you’ve got going on, I’m going to go upstairs and get started.” Her tone remains light, and Erin feels herself relieve a shaky breath when the blonde even smirks at her. 

She chats with Abby and Patty for a few minutes before remembering the food she bought. She grabs the bag and excuses herself, now going up the stairs towards their office. 

“Hi.” She says, approaching Holtzmann. 

“Hey there.” The woman responds, looking up to meet her eyes. 

“I uh..” Erin begins awkwardly, “I got you some food again.” 

Holtzmann beams at her then. “You did? Give it to me!” Her hands are reaching out now, trying to take the bag from Erin’s hands. The physicist realizes the younger woman looks like an actual five-year-old right, and she rolls her eyes at her behavior. 

“It was actually kind of meant as an apology for last night, I really shouldn’t have-“

The blonde pushes forward now, trying to grab the bag out of her hands. “It’s fine.” She says, brushing the redhead off. Erin opens her mouth to tell her friend that it isn’t fine, and she shouldn’t have done that yesterday, but she sees the look on the blonde’s face and realizes there’s no way they’re going to have an actual conversation about what happened. At least not right now. Instead she just hands over the bag, not able to stop the corners of her mouth from turning up when Holtzmann gets excited over a donut with sprinkles she finds in there.

“You’re terrible.” She says, her voice soft.

The engineer is smirking at her now, and Erin realizes how much she’s missed that particular smile. Immediately her cheeks heat up. “Yeah, but you like me anyways, Gilbert.” 

Erin freezes completely. What exactly did she just say? Holtzmann doesn’t seem to have noticed what’s going on, or she has chosen to ignore it completely. Erin opens her mouth to say something, but then she’s interrupted by Abby. 

“Guys!” She yells from downstairs. “We’ve got a call!” 

The blonde, who was just about to take a bite of her donut, pouts now. “Let’s go Holtz. You can eat later.” Erin says, grabbing her already prepared bag and jumpsuit. 

“You know,” Holtz says, rushing over to other side of the lab to grab their proton packs, then returning to the desk to take a bite of the donut. “Have I ever told you what an amazing multi-tasker I am?” She wiggles her eyebrows at the redhead, who just rolls her eyes. 

“Holtzmann!” Patty yells. “Stop eating and get yo ass down here. We have to go!” 

The call comes from an elderly woman, who tells them her ex-husband is haunting her, trying to get back at her for cheating on him forty years ago. It had started with lights flickering, and water turning on and off on its own, but now the ghost had taken a more human-like form and the woman had decided to call the Ghostbusters. 

The girls find the ghost on the attic, where’s he’s messing with some kind of power box. “That probably only made him more powerful.” Erin whispers, and they all nod in agreement. They charge up their guns and attack the ghost, happy when it seems to go pretty smoothly. 

“Be careful where you stand.” Abby yells. “Some parts here are pretty unstable.” 

They’re in control now, using some of Holtzmann’s new ‘toys’ to capture the angry ghost, when suddenly it surges forwards, surprising the four of them. Immediately it turns towards Erin. “No, no, no, not again!” She yells, taking a step backwards. 

“Erin stop!” She hears Holtzmann yell, but it’s already too late. She feels the floor underneath her give away, and then she’s falling through the ceiling. She lands directly on top of the woman’s kitchen table, screaming out in pain immediately. 

Holtzmann looks down, seeing Erin fall down on top of the table, clearly in a lot of pain. “Holtzmann! Focus!” Abby yells. She realizes that if they don’t catch this ghost right now, the situation might actually get even worse. The blonde swallows hard and then nods at her friend and focuses her attention on the ghost again. Finally, after a few minutes, they capture him. 

“Erin, Erin!” Abby says, arriving downstairs first. She notices her friend on the kitchen table. She rushes over to her side and grabs her hand. “Are you okay?” 

Suddenly Erin is laughing uncontrollably, her whole body shaking. The three others, unsure what to do, just stare at each other. “Come on guys!” Erin says, her laughter finally slowing down. “You have to admit the landing was perfect.” 

Holtzmann grins now. “I’d give you ten points.” Patty rolls her eyes and pokes her with her elbow, but Erin just bursts out in laugher again. “Plus, you didn’t get slimed so that’s great.” The blonde continues. They’re both laughing now.

“Yeah, yeah.” Erin says after some time, her laugher quickly fading now as the adrenaline seems to disappear from her system. Within seconds, her face turns completely pale. “Pretty sure my ankle is broken though.” 

“What?!” All three women say at the same time. 

“Can you stand?” Abby asks, as she helps her friend to sit up. The elderly woman enters, figuring it’s safe now. 

“What the hell did you girls do to my ceiling?” She says, giving them disappointing stares. 

“We had a little accident.” Holtzmann says, “But we captured your ghost, so let’s just call it even.” The woman just rolls her eyes, muttering something under her breath as she turns to leave the room. 

Erin shifts forward until the edge of the table, her feet now reaching the floor; immediately she winces. There’s no way she can walk like this; Holtzmann notices and moves closer to the redhead. She uses her hand to softly push Erin’s legs apart, now standing in between them. Erin’s breath catches in her throat when she realizes how close they are right now. Holtzmann winks at her then, before turning around. She’s glad she does, because Erin’s pretty sure her face is as red as a tomato right now. 

“Come on,” Holtzmann says. “Jump on.”

“Excuse me?!” Erin asks. “I’m way too heavy for you Holtz.” 

The blonde laughs. “Try me.” 

Erin doesn’t really want to, mostly because she’s afraid she’ll break Holtzmann’s back, but also because she’s not sure she can handle being this close to the blonde. Still, she feels herself moving even closer, her legs now wrapping around the engineer’s waist, as her hands find their way around Holtzmann’s neck. She’s no longer leaning on the table now. “Are you alright?” She asks. 

Holtzmann clears her throat. “As long as you won’t choke me, I’ll be fine.” 

Erin releases her grip around Holtzmann’s neck a little bit, instead choosing to lean more into the younger women’s body. “Thanks.” Holtzmann says, breathing normally again. 

“Okay then.” Abby says, watching her friends with a smile on her face. “Let’s get you to a hospital.” 

A few hours later, Abby and Holtzmann are sitting in a waiting room, Holtzmann’s head resting peacefully on her friend’s shoulder. Patty went to get them some snacks after Holtzmann’s endless complaining about how hungry she is. They’ve been quiet for some time now, so Abby is surprised when Holtzmann speaks up. 

“I wanted to thank you.” The blonde moves her head from Abby’s shoulder, immediately noticing her muscles felt sore. 

“For what?” The brunette responds, raising an eyebrow. 

“For telling me, about Erin.” 

Abby sighs deeply, remembering their late night conversation. 

“I know you feel bad for getting involved, but I’m so glad you did.” Holtzmann says sincerely.

The older woman smiles down at her friend, glad to see she’s so much happier. “It’s just.. you were both so unhappy. I was really just trying to help. Also, I wanted to get some sleep.”

Holtzmann grins. “I know you were just trying to help.” 

“What are you going to do now that you know she likes you?” 

The blonde takes a deep breath and shrugs. “Honestly, I don’t want to push her. She needs time, and I’m willing to wait for her.” She pauses for a few seconds “Besides, if that means I’ll get donuts every morning, I’m not complaining.” 

Abby chuckles. Just as she is about to say something, a nurse approaches them, pushing Erin forward in a wheelchair. 

“Hey!” Abby says, jumping up. 

“You okay?” Holtzmann asks. 

The nurse speaks for her. “She’s fine. Her ankle is not broken, just badly sprained. She will have to use crutches for the next two weeks at least. Also, she has some pretty bad bruising around her ribs.” 

Erin notices her friends staring at her. “Honestly, I’m fine guys. It’s nothing.” 

The nurse smiles and rolls her eyes. She quickly hands them some papers before saying goodbye and leaving the three of them alone.

“Whatever you say, champ. Let’s just find Patty and get you home.” Holtzmann says, now taking over and pushing Erin forward in the wheelchair. 

Abby watches them, noticing the matching smiles on both of their faces. Yes, Erin might get mad at her once she finds out she told Holtzmann, but it will all be worth it once these two idiots finally make out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Also I promise we're getting closer to the actual kissing part now!


	5. Cardboard cutouts and Donuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! I'm sorry it's been so long.. I got so busy with work, and I've also not been feeling very well :(  
> Anyways, I didn't want to make you all wait any longer so here's a new chapter! I do hope you will like this one!
> 
> As always, thanks for the kudos and comments, it means so much!

“Okay then. Let’s get that pretty butt of yours on the couch.” Holtzmann says as she pushes the wheelchair through the door of the firehouse, Patty and Abby holding it open for her. 

“At least let me walk on my own when we’re inside Holtz.” Erin says, sighing deeply and trying to push herself out of the wheelchair as soon as Holtzmann stops it. 

The blonde clears her throat. “What do you think you’re doing, Gilbert?” She asks, raising an eyebrow and placing her hands on her hips. 

“Getting up.” Erin responds, rolling her eyes at the younger woman. She uses her arms to push herself out of the chair, flinching when the pain returns in full force. Holtzmann is by her side immediately, wrapping an arm around her to steady her as she sits down on the couch. 

“You okay baby?” Patty asks. “You look a little pale. Do you need a pill or something?” 

Erin shakes her head. “Guys I’m fine.” Her friends stare at, clearly not believing a word she’s saying. “I promise.” 

Abby rolls her eyes, knowing her friend too well by now. “I’ll go get her some medicine.” 

Patty returns to her desk then, and Holtzmann mutters something before heading upstairs, presumably to continue her earlier work. Abby puts the pills on the coffee table in front of her and gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze. Erin looks at her and smiles softly. “Thanks Abby.” 

The brunette returns the smile. “No problem. Just relax okay? If you want to go home, just say the word and we’ll help you.” 

She shakes her head then. “I think I’d rather stay here and try to get some work done.” 

“Whatever you want.” Her friend says before turning on her heels and leaving Erin alone. 

Quickly, making sure that no one is watching her, she grabs the pills and swallows them with some water. She closes her eyes, wishing the throbbing in her legs goes away soon. Luckily, her ribs don’t seem to be hurting too much yet, but that’s probably only going to get worse as well. 

All of the sudden, there’s a hand on her shoulder, startling her. 

“Jesus Holtzmann. You scared me.” She says, staring up at the blonde. 

“Sorry.” She says as she shrugs her shoulders. “Ready to go upstairs?” 

“What do you mean?” Erin asks, not completely understanding what the engineer is talking about. 

Holtzmann frowns. “I figured you wanted to work.” 

The physicist smiles. “Yeah but Holtz, I don’t think I can actually walk upstairs. I think-“ She’s interrupted by Holtzmann then, who turns her back towards her and slightly bends over. 

“Your carriage awaits, milady.” She says, and Erin can practically hear the grin in her voice. 

“I’m not going to force you to carry me again Holtzmann, I’ll just work from the couch.” 

Holtzmann turns around now, facing her. “First of all, you didn’t force me to do anything, and second of all, that probably means I’m gonna have to drag that big ass drawing board of yours downstairs. Honestly, I’d much rather carry you.” 

The physicist can’t help but smile, slowly standing up and using her hand to turn the blonde around again. “I can work without the board, you know that right?” She asks, the blonde already bending her knees to give Erin better access to her back. 

“Oh I’m fairly sure you can do anything, smarty-pants” Holtzmann says seriously, making Erin roll her eyes even though she knows the blonde can’t see it right now. She’s now leaning completely on Holtzmann, who quickly carries her up the stairs as if it’s nothing. Erin’s pretty sure she’s not even breathing harder than normal. 

“There we go.” Holtzmann says, lowering the redhead onto the couch in their office. “You good?” 

The physicist nods, trying to find the least uncomfortable position for herself. “Thanks Holtz.” She says, making eye contact with the blonde. 

“Anytime.” She winks then, making Erin’s cheeks heat up instantly. She runs downstairs to grab the redhead’s crutches, figuring she’ll probably want to move around a little bit. They both continue working then, enjoying the comfortable silence between them. The redhead is pleased with the distraction, as it takes her mind off of her painful leg. Holtzmann is just happy to have the other woman close to her where she can help her in case something goes wrong. 

After about an hour Erin can feel she’s getting tired, the time in the hospital plus the stress of the long day having worn her down. She announces to Holtzmann that’s she’ll quickly use the bathroom before going home. The engineer nods, and then returns to her own work. Quickly, she gets wrapped up again in her current project so it isn’t until fifteen minutes later that she notices Erin still hasn’t returned. She immediately drops the screwdriver she had been holding and sprints towards the bathroom. “Shit, shit shit shit.” She mutters to herself. 

She knocks on the door loudly. “Erin!” No response. She knocks once more. “Erin are you okay?” 

Finally, the older woman answers. “I’m not sure.” 

Holtzmann, growing impatient now, tries to open the door, which unfortunately turns out to be locked. “Are you hurt?” 

“I don’t think so.” Erin says, sounding very hesitant. 

The engineer hears it and takes a step back from the door. “Fuck this.” She says softly, then a bit louder. “Erin! I’m coming in.” She takes another step back before rushing forward and pushing against the door, happy when the lock breaks easily. She rushes inside, relieved when she sees Erin’s not actually hurt. Then, she notices something else, and she can’t stop a small laugh from escaping her lips. Erin is on the floor, face down, hugging a life size cardboard cutout of the engineer. 

“God Erin, I’m so sorry. I could give you two some privacy if you want.” Holtzmann says with a smirk on her face.

Erin is now looking from the cardboard to Holtzmann. “What in the hell is this?” She asks, pointing down. 

“Oh that?” Holtzmann asks innocently. “Don’t know. Some fan sent it to us, there’s one of each of us.” 

Erin, still not fully understanding, pushes herself up on her arms, wincing at the pain. “Okay so tell me, why did you think it was a good idea to put it in shower?” 

Holtzmann opens her mouth, pointing at the cardboard version of herself. “It was her idea, not mine! She likes showering with beautiful women.” 

The redhead rolls her eyes at Holtzmann’s childlike behavior. “I know! Obviously she’s nothing like me.” The engineer says with a smirk.

“Anyways,” Erin says, “When I went to stand up I grabbed onto the shower curtain to steady myself, which is when I pulled it back and saw,” She gestures towards the paper version of Holtzmann still laying underneath her, “it.” 

Holtzmann’s laughing now, moving closer to her friend to help her up, glad that the woman had at least been able to pull up her pants herself; she’s not sure she could have handled this situation if Erin had been half naked. 

“It’s not funny Holtzmann, that thing scared the shit out of me.” 

“Quite literally huh?” The blonde says, grinning manically. 

“Oh dear god, just stop talking." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next morning Erin arrives at the firehouse a little later than normal. Apparently everything takes about five times longer now that she has these stupid crutches. She sends a quick hello to Abby and Patty before moving towards the stairs, now standing at the bottom and staring up. She’s holding another paper bag from the coffee place again, this time only including a sprinkled donut because Holtzmann seems to like those the best anyways. 

“Holtz!” She yells up the stairs. She can hear the loud music coming from their office and rolls her eyes. 

“Morning boss.” Kevin says, walking towards her. “Need some help?” 

For a second she thinks about it. Kevin could probably easily carry her upstairs, but she doesn’t want Holtzmann to get the wrong idea. 

“No thanks, I’m fine.” She uses her free hand to grab the banister, using it to slowly drag herself up. She’s about three steps up the stairs when she misplaces her foot and cries out in pain. Her hand lets go of the banister, causing her to lose her balance and fall backwards. She prepares herself for the blow, but it never comes. Instead, two arms wrap around her body and catch her. At first she’s sure it’s Kevin, but then she turns her head around and stares straight into Holtzmann’s eyes. 

“Hey there gorgeous.” She says, holding the older woman bridal style. “What’d ya doing?” 

Erin looks down at the floor, realizing she’s dropped the donut. “I thought you were upstairs and I wanted to give you food.” 

Holtzmann smiles at that. “That does look like a particularly tasty donut.” 

“Yeah..” Erin says. “I made them put on extra sprinkles.” 

Holtz’s eyes go wide. “You did?” 

The redhead grins and nods. 

“Well I demand another one of those tasty ‘extra sprinkles’ donuts of yours.” The engineer says, carrying Erin towards the front door of the firehouse. Erin throws her head back in laughter. 

“Wait Holtz, are you seriously going to carry me all the way there?” 

“Gilbert, you underestimate what I will do for donuts.” Holtzmann says, lowering her head to wink at the woman in her arms. “But I was actually just gonna put you in the car. If that’s alright?” 

Erin nods and beams at her friend. “Let’s go get you a donut.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? ;)


	6. More Donuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I'm back with another update! I hope you will all like this chapter. It's a little bit short, but I just didn't have a lot of time to write and just really wanted to at least post something. 
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos!!!!
> 
> x E

Finally, after some struggling while tyring to get out of the car, the two of them arrive at the coffee shop.

 

“Hi Erin.” The man behind the counter says, waving at her as they walk over. “Back already?” He asks.

 

Holtzmann’s eyes shift between the waiter and Erin, wondering if there’s something going on here.

 

“Yes, I kind of dropped everything.” She explains, already reaching for some money in her purse.

 

“So..” The man starts, finally making eye contact with Holtzmann now. He lingers on her for a few seconds before shifting his gaze back to Erin. “The usual?”

 

Suddenly, Erin blushes. “Yes.” She says, but it’s so soft that the engineer isn’t even sure the waiter heard her. He smiles though, and immediately disappears to prepare her drink. Holtzmann doesn’t say anything, she just quietly watches the physicist, her cheeks still red. She wonders what that’s all about.

 

After only a few minutes the waiter returns, placing two cups of coffee and a donut on the counter.

 

“Does it have-“

 

The waiter glances at Holtzmann again. “Extra sprinkles? Yes, it does.”

 

Holtzmann, on the other hand, is smiling from ear to ear. The fact that Erin’s ‘usual’ includes a coffee for her plus a donut, makes her extremely happy for some reason. Without really thinking about it, she places her hand on Erin’s lower back. Surprisingly, Erin doesn’t say anything about it, not even when Holtzmann keeps her hand there as they walk towards an empty table.

 

The blonde slips down into her seat, immediately taking a bite of the donut. “God.” She says, mouth still full. “This is amazing.”  

 

Erin rolls her eyes at the younger woman. “Glad you like it.”

 

Holtzmann suddenly pushes the donut towards her, practically in her face. “You want a bite?” She asks.

 

Erin shakes her head, her hand slowly pushing the donut away from her face. “No thank you. I don’t actually like donuts.”

 

“Say whaaat?!” Holtzmann says, mouth dropping open as she leans back into her seat.

 

“Dr. Erin Gilbert,” She continues, hand on her heart as she pretends to be hurt. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

 

“You’ll be fine.” The redhead responds, taking a sip of her coffee.

 

“I mean, it’s definitely gonna take some time.” Holtzmann says, now finishing her donut and reaching for the coffee.

  
Erin smiles softy at the woman in front of her, secretly loving this little act. Suddenly she stands up, not saying a word as grabs her crutches and walks over towards the counter. After about a minute she returns to the table, holding a paper back. She puts it on their table and pushes it towards Holtzmann.

 

“Here.” She says, gesturing towards the bag.

 

The engineer frowns, now reaching for the bag and opening it. Her eyes widen when she notices the two donuts in there.

 

“Am I forgiven?” Erin asks, surprising herself when she winks at the blonde.

 

Holtzmann clearly notices, and for a few moments she stays silent, both women now staring at each other.

 

“Uh.. yeah.. I mean of course.” Holtzmann finally says.

 

Erin opens her mouth to say something, but she’s interrupted by the buzzing of her phone. She stands up as she reads the caller-id, gesturing towards Holtzmann to do the same.

 

“Hi Abby.” She answers, struggling to reach for her crutches while keeping the phone to her ear.

  
Holtzmann seems to notice, and about a second later she’s lifted into the air and into the younger woman’s arms. She realises this is becoming a recurring thing, and that she doesn’t mind it at all.

 

“We’ll be right by the firehouse to pick you guys up, okay?” Erin says, still talking into the phone, holding her crutches plus the paper bag in her other hand. She realises people are watching them, but she doesn’t care. Instead she just places her head in the crook of Holtz’s neck, not even noticing the small gasp that escapes the younger woman’s lips when she does.

* * *

 

 

They arrive at the firehouse only five minutes later. Abby and Patty are already waiting outside, carrying some equipment plus Holtz’s jumpsuit.

 

“Hey!” Erin says, noticing they didn’t bring her suit. “Why didn’t you get mine?”

 

Abby smirks. “Erin, if you think we’re letting you help us with this one you are insane.”

 

The physicist opens her mouth to protest, but is immediately silenced by Patty. “Yeah Baby, I think we all know how much of a target you already are, without crutches and all.”

Erin actually pouts now, ducking her head to try to make eye contact with Holtzmann.

 

“It’s not happening, gorgeous.” The blonde says without even looking at her.

 

So she stays in the car, which is parked closely in case they need anything. Erin can see how her friends fight what seems to be a pretty aggressive ghost outside of some kind of restaurant. She hates not being able to help out, but she also knows that her friends are right. There’s no way she could fight a ghost in her current situation.

 

“Are you guys alright?” She calls out.

 

“Yeah.. just..” Abby yells back at her, “we need to distract it so we can capture it.”

 

Erin immediately reaches for the door. _Screw this,_ she thinks to herself. She’s halfway out of the car when Holtzmann is suddenly by her side, pushing her back into her seat. “Stay in the car, Gilbert.”

 

Erin wants to protest, but then Holtzmann is running to the back of the car when they keep their equipment. A few seconds later she returns, holding something in her arms.

 

 “Come on Erin, let’s go.”

 

Physicist frowns. “I thought you told me to-“ She stops when she notices the cardboard cutout of herself.

 

“Oh god.” Erin says.

 

“What?” The blonde responds, grinning at her. “I think you look great.” She wraps an arm around the cardboard. “I mean look, it even has the tiny bowtie and everything.”

 

Erin rolls her eyes, but before she gets the chance to say anything else, Patty calls out for backup and Holtzmann returns to their friends.  

 

This time, Erin does get out of the car, moving closer so she can get a better view of what’s going on.

 

“Holtzy!” Patty yells, “What are you doing?”

 

The engineer grins, now running in circles while holding the cardboard version of Erin. “Trying to confirm a hypothesis.”

 

Then, they notice it; the ghost is most definitely following Holtzmann around. The blonde is laughing loudly, dancing around with cardboard cutout.

 

“Oh Jesus.” Patty says, laughing too now.

 

“Are you actually kidding me right now?” Erin mutters to herself.

 

“Keep doing that Holtzmann!” Abby says, using her proton gun to attack the ghost while the engineer keeps it distracted.

 

Finally, after a few minutes, they get some control over the ghost and start moving it closer towards the trap. Holtzmann finally stops running around. “Holtz!” Erin calls out, “Be careful you don’t-“

 

It’s too late. The slime hits Holtzmann before she even knows what’s happening. The force of it throws her to the floor, Erin’s cutout landing down on top of her.

 

Erin’s already by her side before Patty and Abby even get the ghost safely inside of the trap. “Holtz, are you okay?”

 

She notices the grin on the blonde’s face, and relief washes over her; at least she’s not hurt.

 

“My my Doctor Gilbert,” Holtzmann says, shifting her gaze from the actual Erin towards the cutout version of her, which is still laying on top of her, “Never thought you’d be a top.”  

 

Erin can feel the heat rising to her cheeks, not even sure how to respond to that.  

 

“Oh my god.” Patty says, who seems to have overheard their conversation.

 

“I can’t believe that actually worked.” Abby says, reaching down to pull Holtzmann to her feet, before helping Erin up as well.

 

“I’m tellin’ you,” Holtzmann starts, wiping some of the slime out of her face, “It’s the tiny bowtie.”

 

They all laugh at that.

 

“Come on.” Erin says when she finally catches her breath again, “Let’s go back to the firehouse. I’ll help you get cleaned up.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is definitely going down in the next chapter ;)


	7. The shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated as Erin helps Holtzmann to get some of the slime off of her ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry for the longer wait! I promise I'm not gone, I just got suuuuuper busy with work, and then I also have a lot of other things I'm working on. Anyways, I hope you're all still with me, and as a little gift for being so patient, there's some stuff going down in this chapter that I'm sure you'll like ;)
> 
> x E
> 
> Also, thanks to everyone who commented on the last chapter! It means the world to me! 
> 
> oh and a reminder: English is not my first language, so sorry for the mistakes! ;)

_“Come on.” Erin says when she finally catches her breath again, “Let’s go back to the firehouse. I’ll help you get cleaned up.”_

* * *

 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Erin asks, checking Holtzmann’s body to see it there aren’t any injuries after all.

The blonde smiles at her. “Er, stop, I’m fine. I mean besides the fact that there’s slime everywhere, and I mean literally everywhere.”

The physicist chuckles. “Yeah well, welcome to my life. Maybe next time you won’t laugh so hard when I get slimed, knowing what it’s like.”

“Pretty sure I’ll still be laughing, gorgeous,” Holtzmann says, now shooting one of her trademarks smirks towards the redhead.

Right at that moment Patty and Abby catch up to them, both of them immediately bursting out into laughter once more at the sight of the blonde. Holtz tries to walk away from them, rolling her eyes when she does, but that only causes them to laugh even harder. She’s aware of the fact that she’s walking as if she’s a child that has just peed their pants, but it’s not like she has a choice.

“Okay,” Holtz mutters under her breath, only loud enough for Erin to hear. “Maybe I’ll _try_ not to laugh so hard next time.”

Erin smiles at her in return, both not even listening to Patty and Abby anymore as they enter the firehouse.

“Dibs on the shower!” Holtzmann suddenly says, turning away from Erin and heading towards the stairs.

“Yeah I don’t think any of us have a problem with that,” Abby calls out. God, she always forgets how bad the stuff smells. It’s bad enough that it’s green and sticky, but apparently, it also stinks really badly.

Holtzmann stops at the top of the stairs and turns around to look at her friends. “Anyone care to join me?” She wiggles her eyebrows then.

Abby just snorts, used to the blonde’s behavior by now.

“I’m not getting anywhere near you baby, you stink.” Patty says, rolling her eyes and walking over to her desk.

“Your loss.” The blonde says, shrugging her shoulders. “What about you?”

It takes Erin a few seconds before she realizes Holtzmann is talking to her. “Uh..” She stammers, trying to look anywhere else.

“Oh wait, that’s right. Forgot about the whole ankle thing.” The engineer says then, though Erin’s sure she only said it because she noticed how uncomfortable the physicist is feeling. Erin just smiles in return, glad that Holtz didn’t push for an answer, suddenly not sure what she would have said.

As soon as Holtzmann disappears upstairs, Abby appears behind her, softly placing a hand on her shoulders. She turns around, facing her friend. She smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes like it normally would.

“Are you okay?” Abby asks. “Because honestly, if it’s bothering you this much, you should just talk to her.”

Erin opens her mouth to say something, but Abby holds up her hand. “I get it, you’re scared she’ll reject you, especially after you told her to back off, or maybe you’re afraid the flirting is all there was, and all there will ever be.”

The redhead looks down, avoiding her friend's stare. She stays silent, waiting for the brunette to continue. Abby sighs, gently squeezing her friend’s shoulder. “Erin. You have to tell her.”

“Why?” She asks, sounding very much like a child in this moment.

Abby smiles. “Because no matter how afraid you are, this is way worse, the not knowing. I mean, you know what I think about it..”

Erin rolls her eyes at that, still not looking at her friend.

“Anyways,” Abby says, “It’s better to tell her anyways. You can’t go on like this.”

Finally, Erin meets her gaze for the first time in the conversation. “I know.” She says, simply. “I know that.”

Suddenly, there’s a loud thud coming from upstairs, and they all look at each other. Usually, this means that Holtzmann has blown something up in the lab, but seeing as how she’s not in the lab right now, there’s no way of knowing what happened just now.

“Holtzy!” Patty calls out, walking past Erin and Abby and to the bottom of the stairs. “You okay baby?”

It stays silent.

“Holtzmann!” Abby says, removing her hand from Erin’s shoulder and rushing up the stairs. She’s about halfway when the blonde finally responds to them. Erin hasn’t been able to say anything so far, her heart pounding in her chest and her mouth feeling very dry all of the sudden.

“Uh yeah, guys... I might need some help up here.”

A pause.

“For real this time.”

“Are you alright?” Abby says, her voice dripping with concern.

It stays silent for a few seconds before the blonde finally speaks again. "Yeah, all good. Can one of you just please come up here and help me out?"

Erin's still standing in the middle of the living room, suddenly aware that her friends are looking at her. "What?" She asks.

Abby just raises an eyebrow, and Patty gestures towards the top of the stairs. "No!" She says, taking a step back and holding up her hands.

"Good lord, Erin." Patty speaks, as she walks over towards her. "Just get your ass up there already and help our girl out. Here, I'll help you out."

She makes eye contact with Abby, pretty sure her friend is picking up how anxious she's feeling right now. The researcher just smiles in return, and somehow it calms her down, it always has. She nods slowly, before allowing Patty to help her up the stairs. She's surprised by how little it actually hurts, though she's not sure she's going to tell that to Holtzmann (she secretly likes being carried up and down the stairs a little too much). She knocks on the bathroom door. "Holtz?" She says, surprised by how hoarse her voice sounds. She clears her throat before she speaks again. "Holtzmann are you okay? Can I come in?"

"Erin?" She asks, her voice clear.

"Yeah, it's me."

It remains silent for a few seconds before the blonde speaks. "Come in."

Erin uses one hand to steady herself as she pushes the door open with the other. Immediately she notices the blonde on the floor, laying in a puddle of green slime, clothes still on.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" She asks, making her way over as fast as she can, being careful not to step on any of the slime (she doesn't need another twisted ankle).

The blonde lifts her head, making eye contact with Erin now. She grins, and Erin smiles back instantly, relief flowing through her in great waves.

"I'm fine." Holtzmann says, pushing herself up on her elbows. "I just can't seem to get up."

"What?" Erin asks, frowning as she lowers herself onto the floor beside Holtzmann. She's aware she's covered in slime too now, but she can't get herself to care about it.

"I can't get up." The blonde repeats. "I fell down, and now I can't get up because I'm covered in this green shit."

Erin laughs then, not being able to help herself. "Hey!" The engineer says, poking at her sides. "Not funny! This stuff is everywhere Er, and now I can't even get myself in an upright position so I can get it off of me."

She dramatically lets herself fall back down completely, sighing deeply and rolling over on her stomach as she tries to push herself further down the floor. "Now I know what it feels like to be a slug."

Erin rolls her eyes at the blonde's childlike behavior. "Quit being dramatic."

"Anyways," Holtzmann says, brushing her off, "And then I tried to look for cardboard cutout Holtz, but you took her away." She's pouting now, turning around so she can look at Erin again.

"Yes well, I think that was necessary after what happened. Besides, I didn't take her, Patty did. I think she's trying to prank Kevin."

Holtzmann tilts her head, clearly interested. Erin rolls her eyes as she smiles softly at her friend. "Just something about replacing us with those things, trying to see if he'll notice."

The blonde laughs, struggling to get herself upright once more. "That's awesome." She manages to get herself up onto her knees. "Patty!" She calls out, making Erin wince. "Patty! We have to-" Erin interrupts her, placing a hand on her knee (the slime is mostly on her anyways by now).

"Let's just get you cleaned first, okay?" She crawls over to the corner of the bathroom, reaching for the chair that's there. She drags it over and places it in the middle of the shower, sitting down on top of it. On the chair, she's just high enough to reach the shower valve; she turns it on, immediately soaked. Finally, she turns towards her friend, who's staring at her, mouth wide open.

"What?" Erin asks, feeling her cheeks heating up. "I discovered a long time ago that the slime makes everything way more slippery, so after my third fall, I just decided to use a chair. It makes everything easier."

Holtzmann winks at her, and Erin awkwardly looks down on the floor, suddenly very aware of how awful she must look right now. "You never stop surprising me, Gilbert."

Erin realizes she's still on the chair, and quickly moves off of it. Careful of her ankle, she stands, enough of the slime gone so she can keep her balance.

"Sit." She says, sounding stricter than she had intended to. The engineer just raises an eyebrow in response, doing as she is told. She drags herself on top of the chair, using her hands to remove her bobby pins while she lets the water fall down on top of her. She's aware her clothes are still one, but so are Erin's, and she's definitely not gonna be the only one without clothes.

"Do you-" Erin starts, as if she's read her mind. "Do you need help with your clothes?"

Holtzmann turns completely in her chair, resting her arms on the back of it. She looks at Erin who's still standing behind her, shivering now. The stall is definitely big enough for three people, but the water pressure never was quite good, so the redhead is now left standing out of reach of the warm water.

"My my, Doctor Gilbert, getting bold all of the sudden?" She reaches for Erin's hips, drawing her closer towards her, well aware of the soft gasp that escapes the redhead's lips.

As soon as the water hits her, Erin throws her head back, enjoying the warmth. Holtzmann's sure her jaw has hit the floor by now, totally mesmerized by the sight of the physicist.

"I just," Erin speaks, after about a full minute, "I didn't-" She can't seem to find the right words, choosing to stay silent, letting Holtzmann pull her even closer. She's now using the back of the chair along with the blonde's shoulders to steady herself.

Holtzmann slides her feet across the floor, testing to see if it has become less slippery. Once she's pleased with the results she uses the chair to slowly push herself into an upright position.

"Holtz-" Erin starts, trying to back up so she can lean against the walls again.

"It's okay." The blonde says, tightening her grip around Erin's waist. "I got ya."

The engineer pushes the chair away from them, and out of the stall, maintaining eye contact with Erin the whole time. She's aware of how close they are standing, of Erin's short and quick breaths, and of her eyes and how they keep shifting down towards her lips. She's aware, but she doesn't do anything. She waits, smiling at her friend, both hands on her waist. Suddenly Erin is leaning in closer, and Holtzmann can feel her own heart pounding in her chest. Just as she's about to close her eyes, Erin pulls back, and out of her grip. She's leaning against the wall now, blushing and looking down at the floor. Holtzmann is well aware of the battle that is going on in Erin's mind right now, and no matter how badly she wants her to figure this out on her own, she just can't see Erin suffer like this. It hurts, it actually physically hurts.

"I never realized how long your hair is." She says, her voice sounding wobbly, a clear indication that she's about to cry.

In an instant, Holtzmann can feel herself rushing forward, pushing her body flush against Erin's while being careful not to hurt her. The physicists' head shoots up, eyes locking with the blonde's. Holtzmann doesn't say anything, just looks at her for a few seconds. Then, she's leaning in, closing the small between them. She pushes her lips softly against Erin's, an arm slipping around her waist to keep her steady. At first, Erin doesn't respond, barely even breaths actually. She knows, because of Abby, that it's not necessarily because she doesn't want this, so the physicist must be freaking out right now. Holtzmann pulls back, smiling softly at her friend.

"Erin. It's okay, I like you too."

Erin finally makes eye contact with her, then breathes deeply, a smile forming on her lips when she does.

"Good. I was kinda afraid you were gonna pass out on me due to a lack of oxygen or something." Holtz jokes, slowly moving away from Erin. The physicist doesn't let her, though, tightening her on hold on Holtzmann's upper arm, using it to draw her closer again. The blonde raises an eyebrow, opening her mouth to speak.

"Shut up Holtzmann."

The engineer doesn't even get a chance to respond, as Erin is already pressing their lips against each other again. This time, Erin's lips move passionately against hers, and the blonde can feel herself smiling into the kiss; a smile that turns into a moan when Erin runs her tongue over Holtz's lower lip, seeking entrance into her mouth. The blonde lets her deepen the kiss, their tongues now fighting for dominance. Erin moans too now, and Holtzmann almost drops both of them on the floor. They kiss for a few minutes until the need for oxygen becomes too much, and they have to pull back. They remain close, their foreheads resting against each other.

"How did you know?" Erin asks after about two minutes as she pulls back from the blonde, her voice sounding different than before.

Holtzmann pulls back a little, a frown on her face. The physicist's smile has disappeared, and the engineer suddenly feels uneasy. "Know what?"

"How did you know I like you?"

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of it! Comments totally make my day :)


	8. We need to talk..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg guys.. I'm sorry it took me so long to post this.. 
> 
> I got busy with life, plus writing Dates in Central Park has been way too much fun.
> 
> Anyways, I do hope you'll like this next chapter, it's somewhat longer than the rest :) 
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes. 
> 
> xx E

Erin is standing in the middle of the firehouse, dripping wet, holding onto a chair. She realizes there’s a pool of water forming around her feet, which she will most likely have to clean later, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care about any of it. She just wants answers, right now.

“Abby.” She says, the brunette already looking at her, clearly confused.

“Erin. What’s going on?” She asks, scanning the other woman’s body for any new injuries. “Are you okay?” She glances at her leg.

Holtzmann is rushing down the stairs as well now, also dripping wet.

“Jesus Christ.” Patty mutters under her breath as she notices the engineer.

“Er-” The blonde says, but Erin holds up her hand, not even turning around to look at Holtzmann.

“Not now, Holtzmann.”

She’s still looking at Abby, who moves from behind her desk, walking closer towards where Erin is standing. The brunette looks at Holtzmann, who turns her head away from her as soon as they make eye contact. She suddenly realizes what this is about.

“How did you..” She starts, knowing she doesn’t even need to finish the sentence.

Erin gestures towards where Holtzmann is standing behind her.

“Did she tell you?” Abby asks.

Suddenly the blonde steps forwards, cautiously putting a hand on Erin’s lower back, her eyes fixed on Abby. “No, Abby, I didn’t. I swear.”

Erin moves away Holtzmann, taking another step closer, now almost face to face with the researcher. “She didn’t need to.”

The brunette ducks her head. “I shouldn’t have done this.”

Erin laughs dryly. “No, you really shouldn’t have.”

Patty joins in then, placing a hand on Abby’s shoulder. “Erin listen, I get that you’re all angry and stuff, but she was just trying to do the right thing. She wants you to be happy.”

Erin’s eyes widen then. “Oh my god, you told her too?”

Immediately, the historian holds up her hands, “No, no listen, she didn’t. I just- man, even Kevin can see that there’s something going on between the two of you, and I’m kinda getting the vibe here that Abby said something to Holtzy, which is why you’re mad. All I’m saying is, whatever she said, I know it’s only because she loves you.”

Erin seems to calm down a little, taking a step back so that she’s next to Holtzmann again. “Can you uh- can Abby and I talk for a minute? Alone?” The engineer nods slowly and Erin can see the pained expression on her face.

“We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Kay.” Holtzmann simply says, her voice sounding a bit strained.

Patty leaves too, going upstairs with Holtzmann, leaving the two of them alone. Erin’s still dripping, shivering too now. Abby notices and wraps a blanket around her.

“I’ll ruin the blanket.”

“I’ll wash it.”

“Thanks.”

Abby gestures towards her ankle. “Are you okay like this? Do you want to sit?”

Erin shakes her head; her ankle is the last thing she’s worried about right now. She managed to get out of the shower and down the stairs by herself (without it hurting too much) so she can handle the extra couple of minutes.

“Okay then,” Abby says, still not sure what to do. The last time something had happened between them, it had been Erin’s fault, and she realized that being angry was way easier than being the one that messed up. “Do you-“

“When did this happen?” Erin asks instead, interrupting her.

The brunette takes a deep breath, not sure what to say. She doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and make Erin even more upset than she already is.

“Has she known the whole time? Did you tell her all about our plan? About the things I was going to do to uh, to show her how I felt?”

Abby immediately shakes her head. “No, of course not. Erin, I was never gonna tell her anything.”

“But you did.”

“But I did, yeah.” She sits down at the table because somehow it feels easier. Erin does the same thing, and now they’re sitting opposite of each other, knees almost touching under the small table. It’s an awful lot like an interrogation you’d see on television.

“I just... okay so I told her after the incident at the bar.”

Erin’s heart clenches painfully as she remembers the incident. Remembers pretending to be Holtzmann’s girlfriend in front of that other girl, remembers putting her arm around her, remembers Holtz storming out, remembers her own tears that night.

“She freaked out.” She just says.

“Yeah, you could say that.” Abby says, “Look, I don’t wanna talk about this and get involved even more than I already am so you should probably really talk to her, but uh, all I can say is that she was upset, really upset. She didn’t know what to do, thought you were just trying to get back at her-“

Erin opens her mouth, desperate to know more.

“Ask her.” Abby just says, cutting her off before she can even say anything, “Anyways, I know it’s wrong, but it was late, I was tired, I had seen both of you crying in the last two days. About each other, I might add. I told her. I didn’t tell her about our ‘plan’, as you call it, I just hugged her and told her that she was getting it all wrong. I told her that even though she was a genius, she was pretty terrible at picking up certain things.”

Erin smiles because yes, she was, but then again so was she.

“I didn’t need to say anything else, she understood that it meant you liked her.”

The redhead slowly nods. “Okay, so that explains why she was so happy the next day.”

Abby just nods.

“Thank you for telling me.” Erin says, and it sounds so formal, as if they haven’t just saved the world together, saved each other.

“Yeah.” The researcher responds, afraid that they’re back to this. “I really am sorry Erin. Honestly, I know it wasn’t my place. Can I ask, though, what happened between you two? It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

Erin smiles softly. “It not that I don’t want to, I just have to talk to her first. I’ll uh- I’m going to go home and take a shower, change into some other clothes. I’ll call her then. I don’t want to do this here. Can you just tell her I’ll text her?”

Abby nods. “Of course, Erin.” The redhead manages to push herself up from her chair, Abby now heading up the stairs to retrieve her crutches. She walks into the lab, finding Patty and Holtz there, both sitting on the floor.

“Hey.” She says, smiling at the two of them before focusing on Holtz. “Have you seen Erin’s crutches?”

The blonde frowns. “Yeah uh, they’re in the bathroom I think.” She stands and follows the researcher as they enter the hallway. “Everything okay with Erin?” She asks, her voice soft even though she’s sure nobody but Abby could hear her anyways.

“Yeah uh, I think so. She wants to go home to take a shower. She told me to tell you she’ll text you later.”

“Oh,” Holtzmann says, clearing her throat now, “That sounds good. She should- She should do that.”

Abby reaches for the crutches before turning around and taking one of the blonde’s hands into her own. “It’s going to be okay. You two just need to talk.”

Holtzmann nods. “I’m sorry for getting you into this mess in the first place, it was never my intention.”

The brunette smiles softly. “I know, and it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.”

* * *

Hours later, Erin is sitting alone on her couch. She’s been staring at her phone for at least twenty minutes now, wanting to call Holtzmann but never actually doing it. She’s not sure what she should say, or do. However, she also realizes the conversation is inevitable. It’s not like they can pretend nothing ever happened. It’s way past that.

Finally, she gathers the courage, pressing the call button and putting the phone on speaker. She places it on the coffee table in front of her, wrapping her arms around her own knees as she stares at the device. Somehow it’s less scary this way, now that she doesn’t have to hold it. She doesn’t know why but it always seems to help her.

“Hi.” Holtzmann says after a few seconds. Erin can immediately tell that she’s been crying, her voice sounding hoarse.

The blonde must realize as well, because she’s clearing her throat now. “What’s up?” She asks, trying to sound like her usual casual self.

“Can you come over?” Erin just asks, not wanting to make small talk. If they do, she might chicken out. No, she needs to do this.

“Yeah I’ll uh- I’ll be right over.” She doesn’t even bother saying goodbye.

Holtzmann is there within ten minutes, even though Erin had been sure it was at least a fifteen-minute drive from her apartment to the blonde’s.

She opens the door, Holtzmann dressed in a simple shirt and pants, her hair still down. She almost doesn’t even recognize her like this, the engineer looks so small and vulnerable.

“Hi.” Holtzmann says for the second time that night, managing a soft smile.

“Hey.” Erin responds, holding the door open and allowing the other woman inside. Holtzmann had been in her apartment multiple times before this, but somehow it feels different this time. Holtz must sense it too, because she’s awkwardly standing in in the middle of her living room, hands in her pockets.

“Sit.” The redhead says, gesturing towards the couch. Holtzmann does as she is told, kicking her shoes off before dropping herself onto the couch. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Beer maybe, if you have some.”

Erin returns with two bottles of beer, handing one to Holtz before taking a big gulp of her own.

“So..” She says, not sure where to start.

“Yeah, I guess I should uh, explain myself.”

Erin nods.

“Well, I don’t know what you and Abby talked about, but it comes down to the fact that she sort of told me after the thing with Emily at the bar. You probably remember that I freaked out a little bit.”

“I do, yes.”

“Yeah, so uh- what happened was that I….Shit this is hard.” She takes a sip of her beer before placing it on the coffee table and leaning forward. Her elbows are on her knees and she’s resting her head in her hands. Erin finds herself reaching out and placing a hand on the engineer’s back.

“Just tell me.” She says softly.

Holtzmann takes a deep breath. “Okay. So I was upset because I thought you were messing with me. I figured since, you know, you told me to fuck off and everything that there was no way in hell you’d be interested in me, which is why I made the assumption that you were just angry or something.”

Erin frowns, clearly not quite yet understanding it. “What I mean is that I thought you were flirting with me as payback, to show me how terrible it was or somethin’”

The physicist feels her heart clenching painfully at the thought, not even able to imagine how horrible Holtzmann must have felt. “Holtzmann, I could never..” She says, not able to finish her sentence.

“I know that now, but really I just, I didn’t know what else it could be. When you pretended to be my girlfriend I was so happy, briefly. But then I realized that I could never actually have that. I was never going to get to hold you like that, kiss you, call you mine, make you smile like you did in that moment, get jealous about stupid guys flirting with you, walk up to them, kiss you in front of them. I was never going to be able to do any of that, and yet there you were, with your arm around me, saying that I was your girlfriend. It just.. it hurt.”

Erin realizes she’s crying, tears streaming down her face. Holtzmann still hasn’t looked at her, but she can see that her body is shaking, a signal that the blonde is crying too.

“So I ran. I called Abby that night and we talked. I told her that I was feeling like shit, and that I thought you were messing with me, and she said that I was an idiot.” She chuckles a little, remembering how the brunette had rolled her eyes at her.

“She didn’t actually say that you liked me, but it was pretty clear. That’s all she said, though.”

Finally, Holtzmann turns towards her, sitting upright now.  
Erin smiles softly, reaching out to wipe some of the tears from the blonde’s face. She can feel the blonde leaning into her touch, which only increases her own smile.

“Holtz-“

“I can go, if you want me to.” The engineer immediately says, moving away from Erin.

“No, no.” Erin quickly responds, reaching out to grab Holtzmann’s upper arm. “I don’t want you to go.”

“You don’t?” It sounds hopeful.

“No, I don’t.”

Holtzmann smiles at that, even though she knows it doesn’t mean that Erin has forgiven her, or Abby. “What do you want, though? I mean, I would understand if you want to pretend like what happened today didn’t happen. I understand if you can’t forgive me, I just, you need to actually tell me because I don’t think I can stay away from you unless you tell me that you don’t want me, will never want me.”

“Holtzmann-“

“No Erin really, if you want me to go you have to tell me. Because I can’t do it.”

Tears are still streaming down the engineer’s face, and once again Erin reaches out to wipe them away. “Jillian, calm down.” She says softly.

The use of the blonde’s first name immediately seems to calm her down, now focusing solely on Erin.

“It will take me some time to process, but I’m not mad. I understand, even though it’s upsetting. I just, I wanted to show you I liked you by doing all of these little things for you, I never figured you’d get hurt in the process. It wasn’t my intention.”

Holtzmann grins. “I did like the donuts.”

“I know.”

They stare at each other for a couple of seconds. Erin realizes Holtzmann isn’t going to make the first move again, she’s too cautious, too afraid she’ll hurt the physicist’s feelings. It’s sweet.

So she places a hand on the blonde’s cheek and leans forward, pressing her lips against Holtzmann’s. The engineer responds by cautiously putting an arm around Erin’s waist, using it to pull her closer. Her lips are just barely moving against the older woman’s, too afraid that she’ll mess up again.

Erin pulls back, but just a little bit. She leans her forehead against Holtzmann’s, her eyes remaining closed. “It’s okay.” She whispers, “It’s okay Holtz. I want this. I’m not going to run away.”

Suddenly Holtzmann is pushing forward, as if this was all she wanted the know, needed to know, before she allowed herself to kiss the other woman. She presses her lips against Erin’s again, her arms wrapping around her waist once more. The blonde deepens the kiss, both of them now moaning. Their tongues meet, and it’s even better than the kiss in the shower. It gets heated pretty quickly, Holtzmann now pulling back, not wanting to push Erin into something she doesn’t want to do yet.

“Erin Gilbert.” She says, panting a little bit. “I really, really like you.” She smiles then, and it’s the most beautiful thing Erin’s ever seen.

Erin beams back at her, stroking the blonde’s cheek. “I really, really like you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Only one more chapter left!


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